Goal #3: Where Are You Reading? Update

As part of Goal #3: Reading More Broadly, subcategory Where Are You Reading? Challenge, I completed Fannie Flagg's I Still Dream About You, set in Birmingham, Alabama. Makes me ready to go visit my family all over again! Updated reading map here.

Convergence

So the last couple of weeks, I've been putting off being blue. I've been really busy with travels, and then coming back to complete summer school, and start off the semester at work (my graduate program is on the trimester system). It is amazing how busyness can distract from finding time and space for true contemplation.

So in the back of my head for a while is the idea that I need to do more with my life. It seems like volunteering is only giving of myself so much. Of course to truly give, to truly do more, I have to be willing to risk. I know part of the risk that scares me the most is the fear of being hurt. Oh, I'm okay with that I'll be hurt -- that is inevitable whenever you give of yourself fully. But I am afraid of learning what my breaking point on that pain is. I have enough baggage -- Catholic guilt tendencies, total defensiveness, a protective loyalty -- all of which create their own barriers even as they buoy me through tough times. Lord knows that the friends and family He has provided me as my support circle provide the foundations to that strength, and the grace that I all to infrequently recognize and embrace.

So convergence has bitten me, and bitten me hard this evening. As I had someone else from undergrad friend me on Facebook, I wonder if I'm just as shallow as the last time he saw me more than a dozen years ago. I wonder at what point I'm a lost cause. I think this just means that I need to embrace some uncertainty, this level of discomfort with being blue and feeling lost, and hold onto the faith that I have that an answer will come. It will not likely come all at once, and certainly not neatly packaged, but it is out there. God grant me the patience, strength, and grace to recognize it, and the wisdom to know that I can handle it, no matter the price or heartbreak.

Adventures in the Internets

Both personally and professionally, I've been experimenting with various new "internets" technology. Yes, I use plural purposefully, as I am beginning to utilize various mobile websites, my favorite being the CTA Bustracker. This led me to start following the blog, the CTA Tattler which includes news of that which has been "seen and heard on the Chicago Transit Authority." It is a bit of fun that I love to read, as it provides glimpses into local politics, opinions, and the plain crazy things people see and do on my new hometown's public transportation. Though my CTA Bustracker obsession is closely followed by closely followed by my love of Goodreads to remind myself of books I wanted to check out from the Chicago Public Library (seriously, so many books, so little time).

More significantly, I've also begun to experiment with ways to merge all my technologies together. I use my Twitter account to feed my Facebook updates which also feeds into this blog (this came in very handy when I was in Memorial Stadium this past weekend for the Red/White Spring Game). I'm perfecting my preferences for how to send tasks to my Remember the Milk account (a perpetual "to do list" and project management gem my colleague Vic shared with us at the NALP Annual Conference). For fun, I've added a widget that feeds news on my neighborhood from Your Street into this blog too. And I've begun to more aggressively use the Reader application in my gmail account to track all my RSS feeds from various blogs, but I'm still struggling with how to add Google Mobile to my phone. Ah, all in good time!

Cathedrals & Lent

I attended mass at the Cathedral of St Matthew the Apostle in the Archdioce of Washington for the Palm Sunday Vigil tonight. It was a magnicient building, made with all sorts of marbles, shaped in a Latin Cross, and was the fourth Roman Catholic parish established in the District. The Byzantine touches to the decor were a bit over the top for my aesthetic taste but I did love the use of the Greek cross, which always bring me to my personal favorites, Celtic crosses.

Reading the passion today brought me back to that Palm Sunday spent in Spain, when we heard in spoken in Euskeran. That mass twelve years ago, with Saul and Benjamin, brought me a sense of peace as I realized that even though I could not understand a single spoken word, Roman Catholics around the world were celebrating the same reading of the passion. It was a moment of complete peace, a moment of communion with my fellow Roman Catholics.

Which contrasted to my sense during today's mass. Today's homily highlighted the need to focus this last week of Lent on the sacrifce of Christ and the Father, especially the lonely parts of sacrifice. To everything there is a season, and though we will celebrate the rising of Christ next week, first we must focus on what we must we give up and build within ourselves to truly be in communion with each other, Roman Catholic or no.

I'm leaving on a jet plane. . .

. . .or actually, I've already arrived from that jet plane ride. I'm in DC for the Annual NALP Conference, where I am serving as guest blogger for the week. Check out my first entry to learn more about NALP and why I am so proud to be a member.