Convergence

So the last couple of weeks, I've been putting off being blue. I've been really busy with travels, and then coming back to complete summer school, and start off the semester at work (my graduate program is on the trimester system). It is amazing how busyness can distract from finding time and space for true contemplation.

So in the back of my head for a while is the idea that I need to do more with my life. It seems like volunteering is only giving of myself so much. Of course to truly give, to truly do more, I have to be willing to risk. I know part of the risk that scares me the most is the fear of being hurt. Oh, I'm okay with that I'll be hurt -- that is inevitable whenever you give of yourself fully. But I am afraid of learning what my breaking point on that pain is. I have enough baggage -- Catholic guilt tendencies, total defensiveness, a protective loyalty -- all of which create their own barriers even as they buoy me through tough times. Lord knows that the friends and family He has provided me as my support circle provide the foundations to that strength, and the grace that I all to infrequently recognize and embrace.

So convergence has bitten me, and bitten me hard this evening. As I had someone else from undergrad friend me on Facebook, I wonder if I'm just as shallow as the last time he saw me more than a dozen years ago. I wonder at what point I'm a lost cause. I think this just means that I need to embrace some uncertainty, this level of discomfort with being blue and feeling lost, and hold onto the faith that I have that an answer will come. It will not likely come all at once, and certainly not neatly packaged, but it is out there. God grant me the patience, strength, and grace to recognize it, and the wisdom to know that I can handle it, no matter the price or heartbreak.

Banned Books

Little in this world burns me up more than banned books. I know it is easy to cast stones when I don't have kids of my own that I'm trying to watch, but my parents made financial sacrifices to ensure that we were supervised. Let me tell you -- my mom definitely knew when I started to read Danielle Steele books and quickly put the kibosh on that. But guess what else she did? She explained to me why she thought those books weren't age appropriate for me. And when I did start reading them, she was hardly surprised that I thought most of them were stupid and boring. Though that still doesn't stop either of us from reading her stuff every few years when we need a beach read.

Positive Addictions

My job isn't always fun and this rough economy isn't making it any easier. This blog post made me think about the things I wouldn't want to give up -- my faith, my loving family, my supportive friends, Ben & Jerry's ice cream, apples, and my cell phone. But are any of those positive addictions? Beyond the first two, no. So my new goal: become addicted to working out again. Or as I read in SELF magazine once, though you may not LOVE working out, LOVE the way it makes you feel.

Lessons from Obama's Speech at ND

So lots of blogging is going on reflecting on Obama's speech at Notre Dame. The biggest one I take from it is this: we are a diverse Church, and this provided us an opportunity to show that diversity, and our ability to be not only civil with each other but admit that we are members of a community larger than ourselves. This was confirmed by a friend who remarked that he had never realized how conservative or liberal some Catholics could be. I should invite him to my brother's wedding -- meet my family, and you'll see that diversity pretty well amongst all sides.

Here are some other interesting takes from the blogosphere and internet articles:

• Eboo Patel's Obama a Champion at Notre Dame
• Russ Shaw's Obama at ND: Three Lessons
• Aaron Zelinsky's Echoes of the Bible: Obama's Notre Dame Address
• Joshua Rhett Miller's Some Complaints That Opposition Politicians Scarce at Notre Dame Protests

See, I do read Fox News!

Vacuuming Stories

So, I'm a bit of a sucker for a good contest. Today, the Alice blog is giving us the opportunity to share our best "vacuum story." I hate vacuuming. No, really, I'd rather scrub the floor. Oddly enough though, my vaccuum is nearly as old as I am (I am 30+) and was owned by my Aunt Angie and given to me when I was in law school and needed one for my first apartment. Since then, it has travelled to five more apartments and three more states. I'll have to let my aunt know that it has been so well traveled and loved through the years. It has great suck-it-all up power!! But nonetheless, now that I live in such an urban city where space is certainly at a high premium, I'd love to own a Roomba and get rid of my loud, clunky vacuum.

P.S. Happy Birthday Kari! As always, great to chat with you & I am glad to hear that your boys took care of you today. For more fun, check out Alice - they're promising to revolutionize the way we shop :-) Even better, check out their blog, which is fun, fresh, and thought provoking!