When you need a little magic. . .

I had a crazy week so today was the first time I was home when my building's office was open and able to grab my packages, which for a change I had several.  The one I was most excited about about was from my friend Sara, who makes fun and funky, and often whimsical, crafts, and I highly encourage you to check out her etsy shop.  Inspired by Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, I plan to wear it whenever I need a little magic in my life.  I'll post the other goodies I purchased from her as I wear/use them. I am truly blessed to have such wonderfully talented and creative friends to keep me inspired!

Convergence

So the last couple of weeks, I've been putting off being blue. I've been really busy with travels, and then coming back to complete summer school, and start off the semester at work (my graduate program is on the trimester system). It is amazing how busyness can distract from finding time and space for true contemplation.

So in the back of my head for a while is the idea that I need to do more with my life. It seems like volunteering is only giving of myself so much. Of course to truly give, to truly do more, I have to be willing to risk. I know part of the risk that scares me the most is the fear of being hurt. Oh, I'm okay with that I'll be hurt -- that is inevitable whenever you give of yourself fully. But I am afraid of learning what my breaking point on that pain is. I have enough baggage -- Catholic guilt tendencies, total defensiveness, a protective loyalty -- all of which create their own barriers even as they buoy me through tough times. Lord knows that the friends and family He has provided me as my support circle provide the foundations to that strength, and the grace that I all to infrequently recognize and embrace.

So convergence has bitten me, and bitten me hard this evening. As I had someone else from undergrad friend me on Facebook, I wonder if I'm just as shallow as the last time he saw me more than a dozen years ago. I wonder at what point I'm a lost cause. I think this just means that I need to embrace some uncertainty, this level of discomfort with being blue and feeling lost, and hold onto the faith that I have that an answer will come. It will not likely come all at once, and certainly not neatly packaged, but it is out there. God grant me the patience, strength, and grace to recognize it, and the wisdom to know that I can handle it, no matter the price or heartbreak.

Positive Addictions

My job isn't always fun and this rough economy isn't making it any easier. This blog post made me think about the things I wouldn't want to give up -- my faith, my loving family, my supportive friends, Ben & Jerry's ice cream, apples, and my cell phone. But are any of those positive addictions? Beyond the first two, no. So my new goal: become addicted to working out again. Or as I read in SELF magazine once, though you may not LOVE working out, LOVE the way it makes you feel.